


Keep making me laugh, let’s go get high.

by Honeyindaeyo



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drug Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, M/M, Overdosing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 16:00:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19726966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Honeyindaeyo/pseuds/Honeyindaeyo
Summary: this is from one jackbum oneshot book on wattpad.Jackson is sad and Jaebeom is conflicted.Title of this fic is from the song Born To Die by Lana Del Rey





	Keep making me laugh, let’s go get high.

It was an like an unhealthy addiction. The feeling you get when you can't get the right fix to feed that demon. He knew it was a bad idea from the moment they locked eyes. That smile was to die for and his voice was would cause a saint to sin.

"Please, you need to slow down" Jinyoung sighed. He knew what it was like to be in love but it never made him this vulnerable and maybe that's because Yugyeom wasn't intense at all let alone as intimidating as his older brother, Jaebeom. "I worry about you"

"Don't" Jackson sighs but it's content "I'm fine”

"You're high" Mark frowns but Jackson just giggles. His friends could be so dramatic at times.

"You get high too Mark, don't be a hypocrite" Jackson scoffs "I'm not going to die"

"You just might if you don't slow down" Jinyoung warns

Jackson smiles but it's a sad smile and it breaks Jinyoung's heart even if he'd never admit it, he cared deeply for Jackson. Jackson knew he could always count on Jinyoung, Mark and Youngjae. They always brought him out the dark. No matter how long it took.

"You think he'd miss me then?" Jackson asks, it's more to himself but they hear it

"Jackson...." Youngjae reaches out to hold his hand "what happened?"

"I just .... I don't feel like I'm good enough for him" Jackson laughs sadly "he's ... him and well ... look at me"

"I am" Mark smiles "and I don't see anything wrong with you Jacks"

"Of course you'd say that" Jackson pouts "I'm your brother"

"Yes but that doesn't mean we can't see how amazing you are" Jinyoung says "Jaebeom would be an idiot if he lets you slip away"

"I feel like I'm slipping away" Jackson admits

"What do you mean?" Mark asks concerned "what did you take?"

Jackson shrugs and looks away. He didn't want to be this way but he needed a way to relax. This is all he knew. Surely they'd understand. He just wanted it to be over. He was so tired.

xxxx

It wasn't that Jaebeom didn't love him, it was quiet the opposite actually but he was bad at feelings. He never let anyone too close, always keeping a good distance. He was used to it being him, Yugyeom and Bambam. It was all he knew.

Jaebeom was familiar with the feelings of betrayal. He lived through the painful angst that teenagers loved to read about. He knew pain too well.

He fell for Jackson because despite being a lost soul, looking for love. He was real. He was all Jaebeom ever needed. Like him, Jackson wasn't perfect but God it felt that way. He just didn't know how to express his feelings. These emotions scared him and he wasn't sure if he wanted to be vulnerable even when he knew Jackson would rather hurt himself before even hurting a fly. Jackson reminded him of tragic art. So beautiful yet filled with so much pain. It was endearing in an odd sense. He just wanted to protect him.

"Tell him how you feel or it'll be too late" Bambam said "it's so obvious that he's in love with you"

"I know" Jaebeom admits, because he does. Jackson loves him.

"Don't push him away" Yugyeom frowns "you need him just as much as he needs you"

"He's the final piece of the puzzle" Bambam adds "if you scared, admit it"

Jaebeom was too stubborn. He knew he was afraid. It wasn't everyday that he met his match. Someone so perfect and so right .... just for him. He didn't want to lose Jackson. He couldn't

His phone rang and it startled him. He was deep in thought that he almost missed it.

When he answered it, his heart dropped and maybe he felt a part of him die.

" _It's Jackson_ "

xxxx

He stared at the clock for what felt like hours. It had only been 20 minutes since they'd arrived and they still couldn't see him.

"What happened?" Yugyeom asks

"Accidental overdose" Jinyoung whispers "he's stabilised for now"

"Why did he do it?" Jaebeom asked "what the fuck was he thinking?"

He felt Yugyeom hold him. He hadn't even realised he was shaking.

"He's been through so much Jaebeom" Youngjae sighs "he just wants that pain to end"

"Why couldn't he just come to me?" Jaebeom didn't want to cry. He needed to be strong for Jackson. His Jackson.... Jackson who was currently unconscious due to an overdose.

"I thought he was doing okay" Bambam says softly "I wish I knew"

"He likes to keep things to himself" Jinyoung says "he sometimes forgets that he's only human"

Jackson had been through a lot in his previous relationship. He dealt with physical and emotional abuse and he was hospitalised a few times during that period. It messed him up pretty badly and even after 5 years, the memories would sometimes haunt him, threatening to take that little bit of happiness he'd find until there was nothing but pain.

"What did he take?" Jaebeom asks

He needed to know. He wanted nothing more than to hold Jackson and take all the pain he was feeling away but he knew it wasn't that easy. He still would try. For Jackson, he'd do anything.

"We don't know" Mark sighs "the doctors won't tell us either but the nurse said it wasn't a sedative and it won't kill him"

"They pumped out everything they could and that's the time he passed out" he added sadly.

"It's going to be okay" Youngjae added "he's a fighter"

"He shouldn't have to be" Jaebeom says angrily "I wish I never left"

"It's okay" Jinyoung said, trying to calm him down "it's not your fault Jaebeom"

"But if I —"

"Even is you stayed, Jackson has been keeping things bottled up for a long time" Mark puts his hand on Jaebeom's shoulder "we're all going to help him, no one is to blame here"

When the doctor called Mark aside, Jaebeom felt his heart clench in his chest. He just needed to see Jackson.

xxxx

He looked pale and if it wasn't for his steady breathing, you'd think he was actually dead. The sight would give Jaebeom nightmares for a very long time.

"You need to wake up baby" Jaebeom's voice was low and soothing.

He reached out to move Jackson's bangs out his face. It needed a trim and the thought made Jaebeom smile. When he woke up, he'd definitely trim it for him.

"You look so beautiful right now" He continued "so peaceful, it's pretty frightening"

He forced himself not to cry but he felt the lump in his throat. This broke Jinyoung's heart. The others couldn't bare to see Jackson like this and Mark had broke down already.

"They uh ..." he stopped and tried to swallow the lump. He would not cry. It was selfish. He needed to make sure Jackson was okay. "they said that .... you might not wake up"

He held Jackson's hand and kissed his knuckles.

"I don't believe them, you're stronger and you promised you'd stay with me forever" he was definitely tearing up now and Jinyoung couldn't watch anymore.

"So you need to open those beautiful eyes for me okay?" Jaebeom warned "Please"

He closed his eyes and for the first time in years he said a prayer. He knew it was selfish. He didn't care much for religion but he cared about Jackson. He'd do anything for Jackson.

"I love you" Jaebeom whispered, allowing himself to finally cry. He needed Jackson to know the truth. "I do Jackson.... I'm so sorry baby, please wake up"

He cried so hard that Yugyeom had to help him out. He didn't want to leave but they knew how strict the hospital was.

That night he slept in Jackson's bed. He wanted to feel close to him. He couldn't lose Jackson, he wouldn't.

"He's a mess" Jinyoung sighed "I had no idea he felt that way about Jacks"

"I did" Yugyeom admits "but you know Jaebeom, he's stubborn"

"Are you sure he's not a taurus?" Mark asked earning a glare from Bambam who didn't find the question funny like the others did

Mark was trying his best tone strong. He didn't want anyone to know he was actually breaking inside. He couldn't lose Jackson.

"Kidding babe" Mark adds and sends his boyfriend a wink

"How do we fix this?" Youngjae asks "we can't lose Jackson"

"We won't" Mark says firmly "he's a fighter, like you said at the hospital"

"B-but—"

"No Youngjae ...." Jinyoung cuts him off "Mark is right"

"How can we expect him to fight through it if we give up?" Bambam asks "don't believe everything doctors say"

"How long did they give him?" Youngjae asks Mark

"3 days" Mark says, trying his best to keep any sign of fear out his voice but it wavers. Of course he was scared, Jackson was his younger brother. The only person he ever had growing up and he was scared.

xxxx

It had been a long 2 days and Jackson made little to no progress. He was still breathing but apart of Mark knew it was mostly because they kept the machines on. At any moment, they would ask for his word and Jackson could ... no, he wasn't going to think negative.

"We should talk" Doctor Lee says "it's been a stressful 2 days and i know you want it to be over"

"I do" Mark admits "I need him to wake up"

"Are you the only family he has?" Doctor Lee asks and Mark nods

"That's blood related" He adds "he's also not married"

"We are going to need you to sign a consent form" Doctor Lee says "he hasn't showed much progress but we have to turn the machines off"

"What?" Mark widens his eyes

"I'm sorry but—"

"We are not turning those machines off" Jaebeom cuts in

"Jaebeom please..." Mark says softly

"So you're just giving up on him?" Jaebeom is on the verge of tears again but he refuses to cry

"We still have some time before you decide what to do but I do need you to think about it" Doctor Lee smiles "have some faith"

She walks off before Jaebeom has time to process anything and Mark starts crying.

"I'm so sorry Jacks" He whispers as he looks at his brother

xxxx

"I saw that stupid idol you like on tv this morning" Jaebeom chuckles "you'll be happy to know he dyed his hair blue like you wanted"

"Imagine you saw him?" Jaebeom sighed "you'd probably leave me for him"

"N-no" Jackson croaked

Jaebeom froze and almost dropped his phone

"Baby?" Jaebeom jumped up to move closer to Jackson

Jackson looked up at him and his doe eyes looked so beautiful yet so sad. It broke Jaebeom's heart

"You okay?" Jaebeom asked and immediately wanted to kick himself, of course he wasn't okay.

"I'm sorry you don't have to answer that" Jaebeom sighed "I'm sorry"

"I'm sorry" Jackson whispered, finding it difficult to talk because his throat was dry

"You have nothing to be sorry about" Jaebeom leaned in to kiss his forehead "have some water"

He helped Jackson drink the water and when he was done, Jaebeom broke down, holding Jackson so close it was almost too much. He felt like he'd break Jackson.

"I love you" Jaebeom whispers repeatedly, like a mantra and it was like music to Jackson's ears. It's all he needed right there. He was still too lost to think about anything else but being in Jaebeom's arms was comforting and he felt safe.

"Hyung..." Yugyeom clearers his throat "let's say goodnight to Jackson, well come back tomorrow, maybe he'll wake up"

Yugyeom nearly let out a loud squeal when he saw Jackson looking at him.

"He's awake!" Yugyeom shouted

"Oh thank God!" Yugyeom cried out "we were so scared"

"You look so pale" Mark sighed "you have to eat"

"Give him some room to breathe" Jaebeom said dryly

"You're one to talk" Youngjae scoffed

"You've been wearing the same clothes all week and I doubt you brushed your hair" Bambam added

"Leave him alone" Jinyoung rolled his eyes "we've all been stressed"

"Yeah don't be a bully Bambam" Youngjae added playfully

"You guys are so loud" Yugyeom said "Jackson-hyung must be so tired, lower your voice sir"

Jackson just smiled. He wasn't ready to talk just yet, afraid he'd cry because everything was still overwhelming.

The others let them have their privacy. Jackson would have to stay one more night and then he'd be allowed to leave.

"I heard everything you said" Jackson said softly

Jaebeom looked up at him and smiled

"I want you to know that I meant every word I said" Jaebeom said firmly "I'm going to be here all the way and we're all going to help you get better"

Jackson felt the tears run down his cheeks and he flushed.

"I love you so much and I promise, it's gonna be okay" Jaebeom leaned in and kissed him

"Okay?" Jaebeom asked and Jackson nodded.

"Okay" He smiled shyly

He knew there was still a lot to fix. He needed to get help and he needed to be okay for himself too but he also knew he'd always have his small little family to help him and that was more than enough.

**Author's Note:**

> twitter: mrtnxu   
> wattpad: cultbbybob
> 
> this is a repost. i miss them


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